Tears and soap

Keith and I usually sing to the girls as a way of settling and ending the day. The selection ranges from Ode to Joy to Molly Malone, depending on the crowd's requests. A couple nights ago, the hymn It is Well With My Soul came into my mind. I gave them a brief introduction to the song, explaining that the author wrote it after he had lost all of his children in a tragic accident. As I began to sing the first verse, I saw Marilouise's eyes well with tears and her hands cover her face. When I finished she looked up and said very solemnly, "That was a very sad song. I felt very sad." I was surprised that she was so touched by the song and disappointed she felt sadness rather than peace. As I stood there wondering what to say I was tempted to fast forward her beyond the grief and fear to the happy part (And Lord haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back like a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, Even so, it is well with my soul". And then I realized Marilouise can't take short cuts anymore than I can to a full understanding of God's hand in our lives. I wanted to just tell her and have her believe me that God cares and will set everything right in the end. I didn't want her to have to walk through the painful and perplexing experiences, letting God himself show his love, faithfulness, and power. But I didn't know know Him to be good until I knew it through personal experience. I can't spare Mimi these lessons without her losing the knowledge. This kind of short cut isn't a short cut to the same destination. Rather than a deep knowledge of God's unfailing goodness it's a short cut to shallow faith and glossy ideas of "wellness". So as I looked at my five year old laying in bed with red eyes and I tried to think of the perfect words, the ones that would convince her that her soul would be well, I was reassured I didn't need to. I prayed instead that as she observes and lives through our family's ups and downs (peace like a river and sorrows like sea billows) her compassion deepens, her sorrow sweetens, and her knowledge of God's sustaining hand will solidify. I also hope she learns to carry a tune. But one step at a time.

Our new automatic soap dispenser. Fighting germs one amazing gadget at a time!